Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Why do we struggle with confidence?

A while back, a friend of mine who was in a long term relationship told me that they best way to get a person to like you is to show them that there is something that gives you confidence. For her, it was her jack-of-all-trades personality, in which she was on varsity soccer, one of the smartest students, and totally outgoing and personable. The type of person who never got acne, the ones we envy our whole lives. And I kept thinking, I'm never going to be that person. 

But at the time, I completely missed the point. I was still comparing myself to her. I was still saying, I'm terrible at sports, I'm an average student, there are people who are being far more successful than I. I never really looked at my own accomplishments in comparison to my own accomplishments. I only looked at others. 

I'm not the only one who's asked why I feel like I need to compare myself so much, which drains my confidence, and overall, my self-esteem. But whenever they ask, I never had an answer. 

Why do I struggle with confidence?

Because I compare myself so much. I never looked at my own growth, which when putting it into perspective, has been far greater than I could ever imagine to achieve. I suck at sports, I'm not the smartest, and I'm the girl who always sticks with the dog at parties, rather than try to be social. 


I got into university. I take college level photography classes. I have an amazing family, amazing friends, and you know what? Some pretty cute dogs around town love me. 

Is this my absolute switch to total badass confidence? Absolutely not. It's an uphill battle that very few people have seen the peak of. If you struggle with confidence like me, and yes, the rest of the world, I want you to at least know two things. One, you are there with 7+ billion other people. And two, look at one small achievement that you've had in your lifetime. It can be as simple as you finished reading a book. You've said a kind word to someone, or held open the door. Find something simple, and build on that, and you'll realize that there has been far more accomplishments in your life than you thought. 

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